I hate that "no new friends"saying. 
Dont misunderstand me, i get the sentiment behind it.  My problem with it is that it blocks you from being open to new and possibly rewarding friendships. 
My oldest and best friend lives in the States and we havent seen each other in more than a couple of years. I've known her since i was 18. If i kill someone tomorrow, she's probably the first one i'd tell.  My cousin Kiki will also aid in the murder cover up, no doubt. 
There's Remi who i've also known for over 20yrs. We might not speak on the phone or chat everyday but she will help me find where to hide the body.
Now there's a couple of "new" people in my life  that i honestly don't know where i would be if i wasn't friends with them. They encourage me, uplift me, scold me *often*and most importantly laugh with me.
The winning team of Q, Seember , Ulari  and Oria  practically physically pulled me out of the depths of depression a couple of years ago. I was going through a really hard time with my health, relationships, *both romantic and friendships* family and  finances. it was like everything bad happened all at once.  
Guess what?
I met these angels via social media. I could start listing more people but then this post will look like lyrics from an Oliver D'Coque praise singing song. Lol!!
So i say YES to new friends!!!
Dont get me wrong, there are some nasty pieces of work out there who will make you rethink the meaning of friendship and loyalty. Please dont let that sway you. We live to learn from experiences so even if you have been burnt, be careful but still open.

I am generally perceived as a "nice" person. I'd like to think i am. *most times* Not everyone is though. I have some friends that have people going "what do you have in common with her/him? He/she comes across as angry/stuck up/fancy/rude but you are not like that" and vice versa *especially considering how much i swear and use downright filthy language*
 blah blah blah 
 My favourite saying when it comes to friendships is "to love your friends is to know them" You don't know this dude/chick the way i do. You might have met them on an off day so till you actually get to know them, it's all perception. 
As much as i'm seen as a"friendly", "happy go lucky", "always positive"kinda girl....
Trust me when i tell you i'm not always that way.  I can be as bitchy, self centered and mean spirited as the next person.  I have a horrible, nasty sometimes violent temper. It very rarely rears it's ugly head but when it does, i'm a terrible person to be around. I hate being that person.  The last time i can honestly say i was  that angry was almost 3yrs ago. I shoved my friend halfway across the room , wanted to start a fight at a family gathering and said pretty horrible things to people i love. 
Yup.
Thinking about it now makes me cringe with embarrassment and deep regret . I was so out of control and as much i believe in taking responsibility for your actions, who you surround yourself with at any point in time  affects how you behave.  I was greatly indulged and enabled. I honestly wish someone slapped the shit out of me and made me realize  how terribly behaved i was. It has taken my mothers prayers and the special grace of God to help me in that respect.
We all have our off days.  If you meet me on an off day *which isn't often, but exists* you wouldn't like me either.
Anyway, the moral of this long gist is to not be so closed off to new people or new experiences.
Remain blessed and fabulous

MMWWWAAAAAAHHHHH

 

 

Written by Boki
My name is Boki and I love all things beautiful. I’m a very positive person and I truly expect the same from all of you that decide to take this journey with me so please read our house rules and behave accordingly.

    26 Comments

  1. KathyEsan May 5, 2015 at 12:06 pm Reply

    And once again she does it. She says the truth. Thank you Boki for this lovely piece. Just when I have “closed” myself off to new friends due to the fear of rejection and heartbreak, you have given me a reason not to. Thank you.

    • Boki May 6, 2015 at 11:08 pm Reply

      Please dont hon…
      Just take your time and get to know them but be open.
      I’m happy i helped!!! Yay!!!
      Mwwwaaahhhh

  2. RIO May 5, 2015 at 12:12 pm Reply

    Bang…….we will not be hiding any body’s this year. Seriously though, I too hate that expression! It is so myopic and small.

    • Boki May 6, 2015 at 11:08 pm Reply

      Stop fronting.
      You will hide jor!! Lol!!
      Mwwwwaaahhhh

  3. Liv May 5, 2015 at 12:13 pm Reply

    Love this post. I use to be the “no new friends ” kind of person. Eventually allowed myself have new friends and i loved the feeling. However I’m not too lucky with this friendship thing. I’ve come to realise that I’m always the one looking out for my friends, giving a shoulder to lean on, going all out and holding nothing back for them. As much as i love being there for them. I wouldn’t mind to also have people who will genuinely look out for me and just be there when i need them to be.

    • Boki May 6, 2015 at 11:12 pm Reply

      Hi Liv, i am a fan of open communication.
      The thing is that your friends probably see you as the strong one. Try being more open and vulnerable and see how they react.
      If they dont give you the support you need start backing off.
      I hope this helps..
      Mwwwwaaahhhhh

  4. Gorgeousbskin May 5, 2015 at 12:15 pm Reply

    Love this post!
    My approach to friendships has always been to give as good as I get and that hasn’t failed me yet. Like you, I believe being open minded to new experiences is such an integral part of life & growth and I embrace it fully. My friends from last year are just as good to me as those from secondary school, and this is because I’m the constant denominator in the equation.
    Btw, how lovely are you?!! Best girl! God bless you xx

    • Boki May 6, 2015 at 11:13 pm Reply

      You said it best hon.
      *see why i call you my mentor?*
      I love you loads hon.
      Mwwwwaaahhhhh

  5. DooshimaOyewole May 5, 2015 at 1:40 pm Reply

    i totally agree I hate that no new friends hash tag….some old friends can also turn around around and backstab..caution is just the word….ThankGod for deliverance from anger…I know too well what those indulged tantrums are like..threw quite a few,,

    • Boki May 6, 2015 at 11:15 pm Reply

      Honey i was OUT OF CONTROL!!!
      Praise Master Jesus!!!!
      Thanks for commenting baby girl
      Mwwwwaaahhhh

  6. Toinlicious May 5, 2015 at 3:04 pm Reply

    Like you, some of the best friends i currently have, i met online. I’m never closed off to new friendships o. No way although making new friends come with it challenges. I mean, i met a sir Bill who legit gave me 96 missed calls in less than 2weeks after i met him #NoKidding
    lool blogged about it here: http://www.toinlicious.blogspot.com/2015/03/love-found-me.html

    • Boki May 6, 2015 at 11:22 pm Reply

      Girl, i read that post and as funny as it was, it scared the shit out of me too.
      Please be careful.
      Thanks for commenting

      Mwwwwaaahhhhh

  7. KEMI May 5, 2015 at 3:48 pm Reply

    Good read as usual

    • Boki May 6, 2015 at 11:16 pm Reply

      Thanks dear.
      Mwwwwaaahhh

  8. AdaOhafia1 May 5, 2015 at 5:46 pm Reply

    Yay!!! Finally I can comment. It has been so difficult posting a comment. 🙁 I totally enjoy this blog. Please don’t stop writing. Don’t.

    • Boki May 6, 2015 at 11:17 pm Reply

      I won’t honey.
      I’m really happy with the response i’ve gotten so far. You guys rock!!!
      Mwwwaaahhhh

  9. Q May 5, 2015 at 7:42 pm Reply

    To be surrounded by people who love all of you, including the ugliest parts of you, is one of the most beautiful things. YES, new friends! ?
    Loved every bit of this.

    • Boki May 6, 2015 at 11:19 pm Reply

      Uh huh honey!!!
      Thanks baby girl
      Mwwwwaaaahhhhh

  10. C May 6, 2015 at 8:55 am Reply

    Finally!! Nothing as irritating as that “no new friends” crap.

    • Boki May 6, 2015 at 10:30 pm Reply

      I know right?
      As if you were born with the friends you have now.
      Abeg!!
      Thanks for commenting dear..
      Mwwwaaaaahhhhh

  11. Metrogypsie May 12, 2015 at 12:14 am Reply

    Asides meeting people on off days she bit evebryine can try be your friend.. I also don’t try to be nice or open to meeting too many people so my loyalty wouldn’t be confused when the time comes.. Its hard enough dealing when there is an issue amongst those in my circle.

    I found this really funny.. “Oliver D’Coque praise singing song. Lol!!”

    Lucky you have friends that genuinely care about you and help during down times too.. Not easy.. Really precious too.

    Xx

    • Boki May 12, 2015 at 1:52 pm Reply

      I am incredibly lucky, God knows…

      Mwwwwwaaaaahhhhh

  12. Blaqwyne May 12, 2015 at 9:37 am Reply

    Glad i read this and yes social media has helped me make some amazing friends who will literally move mountains for me and i couldn’t be happier with my decision of opening up…
    I love positivity Boki,keep being you.

  13. MrBure May 20, 2015 at 12:19 pm Reply

    I’m on the winning team? *sobs* “Mama, your boy done made it!”

  14. Humzeey May 26, 2015 at 12:53 pm Reply

    I’ve never believed that friendships are for a lifetime.
    I always see it as seasonal.

    There are people who are put in your life for every step of your journey.
    Sometimes, you’re grateful, sometimes you’re sorry. Other times, they get into the next season.

    However, some of these people along the way, even though you know their time has past, you fight to keep them. Then you realise the dynamics have changed, it’s not the same.
    I say, don’t fret, in that exact moment, they are a ‘new friend’. There should be a lot of rediscovering to be done, if you’re willing to work on it.

    Always have new friends, always. Day 1 people are all good and well, but you need the new ones to grow, continually.

    • Boki May 26, 2015 at 10:56 pm Reply

      Beautifully said….
      This is exactly why you are my friend.
      Mwaaaahhhh

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