No, it's not the one you think it is.
I wouldn't wear white on my big day even if you paid me to.... *ok, it depends on how much you are offering and if it's bespoke Versace*
My close friends and family will recognise this story. About a year ago, my brother Achike was doing some laundry and asked if i had any whites to add to the load of washing. I paused and realised that i didn't own one single white item of clothing.
I was simply too fat to get away with white so why bother buying it. See ehhhhn, I've always dressed the body i had pretty damn well. I've had some fashion disasters *who hasn't* but all in all, i like to think i was quite the stylish fat chick. In that spirit of knowing what suited me and what didn't, i knew better than to try myself with white.
So I decided that it would be my goal to wear a white slinky dress for my 40th birthday.
That clearly didn't happen considering I wore this....
I was a lazy cow *as y'all know* and started dress shopping pretty late but in my defence, i had some plans that didn't fall through so that kinda annoyed me and made me slack. When i did decide to start dress shopping, all the white dresses i saw where either too bridal, didn't look right or was just too damn expensive *there's life after the party biko* Oyiboka was going mad with worry. i had dreamt of how i was going to show off this new banging body of mine in a white HOT dress!!!!
Part of my growth process as a human being has been learning how to not spazz out when things don't go my way and fall into a funk. I have been pretty open about my bouts of depression and random moments of self loathing
The old me was so tightly wound up and would have thrown a fit and cancelled all plans, withdraw into my bedroom or go down to Onitsha to be babied by Funmi *that's my mothers name* Call me childish but that was my truth. Emphasis on "was". Now I stop and remind myself of how incredibly blessed I am.
Anyway, to cut a long story short i chose not to sulk or throw a tantrum and started looking for other options.
I got the amazing Tadashi Shoji dress i wore 24hrs before my birthday and guess what, although I needed to adjust it a little, it was perfect for me and the occasion.
Fast forward a couple of weeks later...May 4th to be exact.
It was my Tiv Princess's birthday *Seember or Gorgeousbskin to y'all*
That wonderful human being proceeded to shower me with presents on HER birthday.
One of them was this dress.
She is one of the people who knew the "white dress plan"
It's taken me over a month to find the right occasion to wear it to, but on Sunday, I did.
My niece Afulenu was taking her first communion and Madre was here for it.
So I finally got my white HOT dress. It fit like a dream and more importantly, my niece loved it. She had already warned me to wear a nice dress because all her friends would be there. *yes, I'm raising divas in my yard*
The moral of the story is that we can wish and plan all we like but God decides when he wants to do when he's good and ready. In hindsight, that white dress would have screamed DESPERATION!!!!
I am working on treating my single pringle status the same way. As much I'd love to be with someone and fall madly and crazily in love, I'm just going to let God do his thing. Have a wonderful day folks, remain blessed and fabulous... MMWAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHH