No, it's not the one you think it is.
I wouldn't wear white on my big day even if you paid me to.... *ok, it depends on how much you are offering and if it's bespoke Versace*
My close friends and family will recognise this story. About a year ago, my brother Achike was doing some laundry and asked if i had any whites to add to the load of washing. I paused and realised that i didn't own one single white item of clothing.
I was simply too fat to get away with white so why bother buying it. See ehhhhn, I've always dressed the body i had pretty damn well. I've had some fashion disasters *who hasn't* but all in all, i like to think i was quite the stylish fat chick.  In that spirit of knowing what suited me and what didn't, i knew better than to try myself with white.
So I decided that it would be my goal to wear a white slinky dress for my 40th birthday.
That clearly didn't happen considering I wore this....
I was a lazy cow *as y'all know* and started dress shopping pretty late but in my defence, i had some plans that didn't fall through so that kinda annoyed me and made me slack.  When i did decide to start dress shopping, all the white dresses i saw where either too bridal, didn't look right or was just too damn expensive *there's life after the party biko*  Oyiboka was going mad with worry.  i had dreamt of how i was going to show off this new banging body of mine in a white HOT dress!!!!
Part of my growth process as a human being has been learning how to not spazz out when things don't go my way and fall into a funk. I have been pretty open about my bouts of depression and random moments of self loathing 
The old me was so tightly wound up and would have thrown a fit and cancelled all plans, withdraw into my bedroom or go down to Onitsha to be babied by Funmi *that's my mothers name* Call me childish but that was my truth. Emphasis on "was". Now I stop and remind myself of how incredibly blessed I am.
Anyway, to cut a long story short i chose not to sulk or throw a tantrum and started looking for other options.
I got the amazing Tadashi Shoji dress i wore 24hrs before my birthday and guess what, although I needed to adjust it a little, it was perfect for me and the occasion.
Fast forward a couple of weeks later...May 4th to be exact.
It was my Tiv Princess's birthday *Seember or Gorgeousbskin to y'all*
That wonderful human being  proceeded to shower me with presents on HER birthday.
One of them was this dress.
She is one of the people who knew the "white dress plan"
It's taken me over a month to find the right occasion to wear it to, but on Sunday, I did.
My niece Afulenu was taking her first communion and Madre was here for it.
So I finally got my white HOT dress. It fit like a dream and more importantly, my niece loved it. She had already warned me to wear a nice dress because all her friends would be there. *yes, I'm raising divas in my yard*
The moral of the story is that we can wish and plan all we like but God decides when he wants to do when he's good and ready. In hindsight, that white dress would have screamed DESPERATION!!!!
I am working on treating my single pringle status the same way. As much I'd love to be with someone and fall madly and crazily in love, I'm just going to let God do his thing.

Have a wonderful day folks, remain blessed and fabulous...

Written by Boki
My name is Boki and I love all things beautiful. I’m a very positive person and I truly expect the same from all of you that decide to take this journey with me so please read our house rules and behave accordingly.


  1. Kemi June 9, 2015 at 12:23 pm Reply

    OK.. Lemme start by saying I look forward to reading your blog. The white dress looks fantastic on you *as expected *. Finally, I can’t wait to shed off this load of da and look all swaggie like you. Cos you be my mentor. Keep looking fabulous.

    • Boki June 9, 2015 at 4:49 pm Reply

      Kemi dear, thank you. Just start, starting is the most difficult part. Once you start and see results, you won’t stop. I promise you. Thanks for all your kind words.

  2. Phury June 9, 2015 at 12:25 pm Reply

    Hehehehe. Your niece is a character.

    • Boki June 9, 2015 at 4:50 pm Reply

      Maddy, it’s no joke. Her mum says “na your pikin biko”

  3. Liv June 9, 2015 at 12:37 pm Reply

    Nice read. You looked absolutely gorg in both dresses. The birthday one and the white one. I love it when you say “yard” i actually hear you say it and not read it. The last paragraph got to me. Its like it were referring to me. I’m also just gonna let God do his thing. :):)

    • Boki June 9, 2015 at 4:53 pm Reply

      I’m so happy that y’all read my posts in my voice because that’s exactly how I want it to be. Like a conversation between us. My dear, I’m happy it resonated with you. We have to just let God do his thing when he’s good and ready jare. Thanks for stopping by..

  4. Menoword June 9, 2015 at 12:54 pm Reply

    I’m learning about this waiting….and enjoying the wait. Not fretting, not pushing, not worrying….It’s been a great lesson. Lovely one my darling, as always

    • Boki June 9, 2015 at 4:54 pm Reply

      My beautiful Arit, it’s hard sometimes but we have to trust that he had better plans for us in the long run.

  5. Gorgeousbskin June 9, 2015 at 1:39 pm Reply

    And you looked absolutely stunning in it! Fits like a glove.
    I’m happy you love it and love the introspection that came with something so mundane.
    God bless you & may all your dreams come true in his time

    • Boki June 9, 2015 at 4:57 pm Reply

      Samebae *yeah, I’ve joined them* you are just a star. I didn’t tell you what the dress meant to me that day cos I didn’t want to sound all mushy and shit but thank you for giving me my white dress moment. I’ve waited about 25yrs for it and I’m happy you made it possible. I love you.

  6. Tega phoenix June 9, 2015 at 1:57 pm Reply

    Nice. I like this story.

    • Boki June 9, 2015 at 5:00 pm Reply

      Thank you dear. 😁😁😁

  7. maana_dee June 9, 2015 at 2:40 pm Reply

    I always enjoy your posts. Love your vivacious nature.

    • Boki June 9, 2015 at 5:00 pm Reply

      Thank you, that’s a lovely thing to say.

  8. Oti June 9, 2015 at 2:43 pm Reply

    I follow you secretly on twitter and totally love you*no homo*. You look so beautiful in both dresses and I wish you d very best in life*muuahhhhhhhhh*God has ur back,soon u’d live your dream.Amen

    • Boki June 9, 2015 at 5:02 pm Reply

      Lol!! Why secretly na? I don’t bite..
      Thank you and Amen!!!

  9. kathyesan June 9, 2015 at 3:26 pm Reply

    Heyyyy, I loved this so much and that white dress fit you so well. May God grant you all your heart desires…

    • Boki June 9, 2015 at 5:31 pm Reply

      Amen nwanne!!! Thank you sooooooo much.

  10. KeKe June 9, 2015 at 4:16 pm Reply

    You are so damn easy to love*sorry was listening to Beyoncé while reading this*,i follow you on twitter and I purposely look for your tweets,you are such an inspiring person,i have read out several of your posts at work to everyone,feels like we know you. You are like a big sis in my head,ok..mushy stuff the dress, your nieces are just like my nephews,they make me laugh and condition me ehn,Chukwu Nna, im hoping to fit into a nice white dress like this, yes you can’t be all gorgeous like this alone,i must share!!lol..have a fab day..and may all your dreams come true..

    • Boki June 9, 2015 at 5:36 pm Reply

      Now I’m shy. 🙈🙈🙈🙈🙈
      You are so kind. God bless you.
      My nieces and nephews are a riot. They give me so much joy.
      Biko send me a picture when you get into your own “white dress”
      Thank you for stopping by and commenting, you made me grin so widely.

  11. Payme June 9, 2015 at 8:41 pm Reply

    First time on your blog and I like this 🙂 I loved that blue dress on you! The pictures you shared came out perfect, so all’s well that ends well ey. Thank God for kind friends, the white dress fits so well…well done with your commitment to fitfam lol. Now off to read your other posts 🙂

    • Boki June 10, 2015 at 10:56 am Reply

      Thank you!!! My friends are such a blessing to me, it’s a bit scary sometimes because i feel so undeserving of all the love.
      I hope you enjoy the rest of the posts.

  12. Humzeey June 10, 2015 at 10:53 am Reply

    A Little White dress, to a First communion.. How poetic.

    Most Times, the G up there has His own Plans (Quite a Jealous Dude), who are we to Fight it, even though we try.

    Amazing, as usual.

  13. May June 10, 2015 at 11:08 am Reply

    I love you Boki! Damn! When I saw the new you, I was blown away and started telling strangers about your make over. Considering I don’t even know you personally.

    At 40, the way you talk about falling in love, the hope and belief. Wow! At a little over 20, I don’t even feel that way. That your Prince Charming must come by force. Maybe it may be my uncle sef, but he is in the obodo.

    If that does not happen, I think you can still adopt me as your baby sister. I promise I’m nice enough.

  14. Lita June 10, 2015 at 11:11 am Reply

    I like the comment section and the gorgeous red lips… that’s why i’m commenting. 😀

  15. Eky Shirley June 10, 2015 at 4:25 pm Reply

    It was well worth the wait. You look tres chic and absolutely fabulous.
    Being chubby, I can relate to your struggle for the perfect white dress. I still have a preference for the blue one though.
    Thank you for sharing your story; a lot of people (myself inclusive) will draw strength and encouragement from your candor. Nicely done…..

  16. Raola June 12, 2015 at 11:31 pm Reply

    I want your body 🙁
    I mean when I grow older😪 I want that hot body
    I think everything you wear looks good on you, you have the ‘pavet’ attitude :*
    I don’t believe you’re 40 btw
    Sweet 16 something

    • Boss October 10, 2016 at 1:16 pm Reply

      If you wrote an article about life we’d all reach enmeehtgnlint.

  17. Francesca June 17, 2015 at 6:53 pm Reply

    Look at you just thriving! and inspiring me to not be afraid of my present or worry about my future.
    You are amazing (& freaking hot!) and I am glad you started this blog.

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