Yes, I do. Very much sef.
I’m also a card-carrying feminist. I don’t know why some people think the two can’t co-exist.
“Haba but you cook for your men, call your significant other Oga’m, don’t believe in “going Dutch” and  believe in polygamy “
How can you be a feminist?


Whether we like it or not, gender roles exist. Rightly or wrongly…they do.
You have to undo over a million years of evolution to change that.


So let’s try to change what we can, shall we?
I live with my brother for various reasons, the first being that I love him dearly and he’s a fantastic housemate to have *the boy washes dishes biko..have you seen my nails?*
The next and if I’m honest probably the most strategic is that he’s a man.



Men are sooooooo useful. Why on earth would you choose not to use them if you can?? That’s just dumb!! They open difficult cans, change light bulbs, iron and generally do things that I really don’t want to bother my pretty little head with…
He sorts out my car issues so I don’t have to. He deals with the generator/nepa etc…Yes, some would say “why won’t you learn and be independent of him?”
Errrrrrrrm, because I don’t want to.
Call police…



Feminism is about choice to me. I want women to simply have the choice and opportunity to be the president if they want to *and are qualified for the job* and also not be judged if they decide they rather be a homemaker.


We are flexible so allow us flex, oginidi??
Not every woman *or person for that matter* is cut out for the white-collar or high-flying business life. I know a couple of men that are so dedicated to their children and homes that I KNOW for a fact that if they lived in a different society, they would gladly become house husbands.


No they aren’t gay.


I also know women that are so far from maternal  that you have to wonder why they had children that they are clearly not interested in.
I want little girls that show an interest in engineering to be encouraged and I also want the ones who rather be in food and nutrition class not to be mocked. Or even the girl who chooses to be the pampered 3rd wife of a Kano billionaire. We aren’t sheep, we are thinking beings that make decisions that work for US.


I enjoy cooking for my people *when I get off my lazy butt* it gives me joy to see my labour of love being enjoyed by the people I love. I like to keep a tidy home *when Achike will allow it..* I’ll call my significant other “Oga’m” because I’m a local girl who does local love. I WILL NOT go Dutch on a date YOU invited me to. No Sir!!!! I believe in polygamy because it’s a system that when it’s done right *read lots of money* it works perfectly fine for all parties involved especially if they are wired a certain way. I might need to write a whole post dedicated to that particular topic but let’s finish with this one first, okay?




Why is all this a problem??


I also want our government to be a minimum of 50% female. Why? Because we have enough qualified women to fill that quota so why the hell not?
Feminism to me is about fighting for the girl child to have choices and opportunities that her male counterparts do. It sounds simplistic but that to me is the core of it all.


*Drops mic*
Written by Boki
My name is Boki and I love all things beautiful. I’m a very positive person and I truly expect the same from all of you that decide to take this journey with me so please read our house rules and behave accordingly.


  1. Tobiloba March 23, 2016 at 11:52 am Reply

    “Feminism is about choice to me. I want women to simply have the choice and opportunity to be the president if they want to”

    This is really all feminism is about, anything else is NOT feminism.

    • Boki March 24, 2016 at 4:58 am Reply

      It’s so simple that you have to wonder if people are being deliberately obtuse on the subject just to get reactions…I just tire.

  2. Demi March 23, 2016 at 12:27 pm Reply

    You hit the nail on the head- my right as a woman to make a choice. And my choice not to be seen in a negative light merely cos I am a woman.

    • Boki March 24, 2016 at 10:17 am Reply

      That’s all o!!
      Pretty basic if you ask me…

  3. Annie March 23, 2016 at 12:29 pm Reply


    This is why I say you’re my spirit animal. Every. Damn. Thing in this post… Well except the polygamy part (cos I’m selfish, lol…but I get it).

    Thank you for expressing my feelings about this subject so perfectly.

    I keep saying I am mostly self sufficient/independent cos I have to be. Not cos I wanna be. The boys get upset cos I’m capable of taking care of myself but I don’t see any of them trying to take over so I can lounge. *side eye*

    I’m sha still here hustling for the paper and waiting for MY Prince Charming. ?

    P.s. Soz for the long ass comment. I get on my soap box sometimes. Smh. Lol.

    • Boki March 24, 2016 at 9:59 am Reply

      I looooove the “long ass” comment. I’m here for that jare.
      I’m sooooooo chuffed that you were moved to comment. Oya, go and read other posts and I hope something stimulates you again.
      Mwwwaaahhh ????

      • Annie March 24, 2016 at 8:31 pm Reply

        I actually read all of them o. Then i comment in my head…try to round up my day & it flies out. But this Easter weekend na me & you. Hehehe.

        The one about your relationship with your mom i actually talked about with my younger sis.

  4. Daks March 23, 2016 at 12:39 pm Reply

    Yaaaasssss, that’s all we’re saying!

    Choice is key. People don’t get that, it’s the choice to kneel down for your husband if you want or have a chef cook his meals because you don’t like cooking.

    It doesn’t mean to be forced to be one or the other.

    • Boki March 24, 2016 at 4:56 am Reply

      Nne ehhhhhn, you gerrit!!
      Why am I less of a “modern” woman because I choose to call my man “King” or not feminine enough because I don’t like to cook?
      Do you and free me to do me.

  5. MrBure March 23, 2016 at 12:58 pm Reply

    That really is the core of it.

    A girl/woman should be free to make the same choices about what to do with her life as a boy/man, and should have the same opportunities.

    • Boki March 24, 2016 at 10:16 am Reply


  6. MsUju March 23, 2016 at 1:27 pm Reply

    “Not every woman is cut out for white collar or high-flying business life” Gbam!!!
    Thank you for sharing, you sha know that you’re my big sister (in my head) ?

    • Boki March 24, 2016 at 4:54 am Reply

      Awwwwww, thank you ? ? ?

  7. King Rume March 23, 2016 at 3:53 pm Reply

    Nne, “freedom to do” to me is what true feminism is about, your dim is your career?carry go. Are you a successful independent business exec who doesn’t need a man? Nne ride on. Yes!! Boys are forever useful especially those that provide body warmth on cold nights??

    • Boki March 24, 2016 at 4:53 am Reply

      You see yersef??? Lol!!

  8. Chiny March 24, 2016 at 7:39 am Reply

    Patiently waiting for the Polygamy post.
    Nice writing as usual

  9. Menoword March 27, 2016 at 5:01 pm Reply

    Feminism is choice my sister. It’s simple isn’t it? Every woman with the choice and freedom to live the life she desires. I’m going to try to comment more. Wonderful post as always.

  10. June October 11, 2016 at 5:26 pm Reply

    Biko where have I been and why am I just coming across this blog? I agree with you except for the polygamy stuff because I feel a woman should be allowed more than one man too and polygamy favours the man.

Leave a Comment