I have been thinking a lot about my relationship with my mother but I’ve pretty much pushed the thoughts aside but everything has been subbing me lately….from that ridiculously cute Peak milk advert *have y’all seen it? The one with the celebs and their mums* to House of Cards.


Then I watched a clip featuring my friend Chioma in a series called “King Women”by Kemi Adetiba . Y’all need to watch those clips. I can’t wait for the full documentary to come out.
That’s when I knew I had to write this


I have a difficult relationship with Funmi. One moment we are besties and killing ourselves with mutual admiration and the next…I want to never speak to her as long as I live. *I know it sounds dramatic but that’s our reality* Funny enough, it’s gotten much better with time and especially since my dad died. It used to be terrible. I was convinced I was a love child of my fathers that she was somehow forced to raise. I felt kinda loved but not the same as my brothers. It seemed as if she showed me just enough care and love to pass a minimum requirement.


Don’t misunderstand me, she taught me life lessons that are priceless to me…


My father didn’t want me in the kitchen so his princess wouldn’t get burnt. My mother would argue that I’d be useless to my husband and my father would answer “my wedding present to her would be a chef for life ” Yeah, he was that deluded….
He went on a  3month course in the States and she sent all the staff away on paid leave and made me learn how to cook, clean and generally take care of our  house in Enugu. Trust me, this was work. From waking up to sweep and dust the house, cleaning bathrooms, going to the market with her and learning to haggle like a beast. *They know me at Artisan Market in Enugu..*


I was 11 and was supposed to be away for the summer and she was running a successful practice as a lawyer. She took 6 weeks of my summer and of her work and made a woman. *Some feminists will argue about that statement but I have a post coming on my idea of feminism*


I’m forever grateful for that. I’m a lazy cow now but that’s by choice. Lol!!


We bonded over that but it didn’t last long. Once my dad came back, it was back to them and us. Them being mummy and her boys.


  I won’t lie and say it didn’t hurt but I had Daddy!! My big, lovable indulgent Daddy!! Yeah, I’m an unashamed daddy’s girl. He is/was the love of my life. That I was his favorite wasn’t something he hid. No Sir! He called me his “Principal Wife” and I gloried in his love and adoration which certainly didn’t help my relationship with Funmi. We were rivals of some sort considering we were both in love with the same man. Lol!!


I love my mother dearly but the truth is most of the time, I don’t like her at all. I’m pretty sure she feels the same way. I wish it were different but it is what it is. I respect her  and I’m fiercely proud of her achievements and her strength
I know I’ve disappointed her in many ways as a daughter…..sooooooo many ways. I  am a difficult child and to make matters worse, I was too fat, too mouthy, too argumentative and of course too indulged by Daddy. It doesn’t help that i haven’t  “found”a husband or given her grandchildren.


I want things to be different between us but that will mean a serious heart to heart and I really don’t know where to start…… she is also too stubborn to admit that she could have done things differently.


Shes getting older and  pretty much set in her ways so sometimes I wonder if I should just let it go and simply accept that she is who she is and still love her as I always have but the problem is that I desperately want to like her and have her like me too.


We’ll see….


Written by Boki
My name is Boki and I love all things beautiful. I’m a very positive person and I truly expect the same from all of you that decide to take this journey with me so please read our house rules and behave accordingly.


  1. CheRox March 17, 2016 at 10:53 am Reply

    Hmm. I don’t know many women who don’t have a difficult relationship with their mother so you are not alone in your conflicted feelings/thought about your mom. I have tried to figure out my parents and how they raised me, I think they’re some universal things that most good parents have in common.

    1. They did the best they knew how to
    2. They thought they were being fair and doing right by you
    3. Many things they did was fear driven. Afraid to see you hurt or disappointed so they prepped you for the world they knew not necessarily the world you grew up in
    4. They’re receptive to communication from their now adult children because they know they didn’t get it all right.

    I don’t know it’s complicated

    • Boki March 18, 2016 at 8:27 am Reply

      Nne, complicated is an understatement!!
      God dey!!!
      Thank you sooooo much for always being so supportive and sharing here. God bless you hon ? ? ? ?

  2. Chiny March 17, 2016 at 11:22 am Reply

    This is everything!

    • Boki March 18, 2016 at 8:28 am Reply

      I’m happy it spoke to you.
      Thank you sooooo much for stopping by. God bless you ? ? ? ?

  3. Eka March 17, 2016 at 11:46 am Reply

    This just feels like I wrote this…
    I have always struggled with my relationship with my mom… Everything is almost always an argument and it doesn’t help that she hasn’t come to understand who I am as a person…
    Sigh… My pride won’t let me sit her down and tell her how I feel, because there’s no reasoning with her…
    I just hope we magically get to a good place.

    • Boki March 18, 2016 at 8:30 am Reply

      That’s my fear too. That when I do sit her down to pour out my feelings, she either won’t take it seriously or lash out and make an already bad situation worse!!
      I tire!! God dey sha.
      Thank you sooooo much for sharing. God bless you dear ? ? ? ?

  4. RIO March 17, 2016 at 12:57 pm Reply

    Most mothers have this sort of relationship with their first daughters. My relationship with my mum got significantly better when I got married. She loved me as she knew how, it was I who didn’t get that.

    • Boki March 18, 2016 at 8:36 am Reply

      Ahhhh, let me quickly find husband so we can be cool!! Lol!! I know what you mean sha.
      Ah well…
      Thanks for sharing babe..God bless you nne ? ? ? ?

  5. MrBure March 17, 2016 at 2:20 pm Reply

    I can relate to this. I wasn’t that close to my mum until my dad died. I know boys are supposed to be close to their mothers, but I had a special bond with my dad. I used to talk to him every other day, and I’d talk to my mum about once a week. In fact, if I didn’t call my dad for two days he’d call me to ask if we were fighting.

    Since he passed, I’ve been talking more to my mum, and we’ve definitely gotten closer. And now I have to deal with demands for grandchildren. And a daughter in-law. I don’t know how much longer I can hold out…

    • Boki March 18, 2016 at 8:44 am Reply

      It’s so refreshing to see that some men have mummy issues too. It’s especially refreshing that you shared. Thank you sooooo very much. God bless you darling ? ? ? ?

  6. Ms Cheexy March 17, 2016 at 3:04 pm Reply

    My mum was really tough when we were growing up but as the years have gone by, we have kind of developed some sort of mutual respect which has mutated into visible love. I have no doubt that she loves me because she shows it in her unique way. She impresses me every day. Her tenacity is unrivalled and if she starts on your case mehn…just bone. You will get tired. Sometimes i think she does it to wind me up because our temperment is very different. Like her, i’m am also stubborn but in a more subtle way. Her’s is more obvious. I love her to bits though. My point is, I can relate.

    • Boki March 18, 2016 at 8:24 am Reply

      I’m happy that you can relate to this. Sometimes you wonder if you are the only one going through stuff.
      Thank you sooooo much for sharing.God bless you dear ????

  7. Chy March 17, 2016 at 4:03 pm Reply

    I can totally relate to this. Funny part is, deep down, I know I’m my mom’s favourite. I feel like she secretly loves it when I stand up to her but sometimes I wish we had a really close relationship. I know she loves me. I mean, she gave up her everything she has for me. But we’ve had such a difficult relationship that I can’t afford to bare my mind to her else she’ll throw it back at me at a later date. I know it’s not out of spite tho. I haven’t been the easiest child either. I have brought her more disappointments than either of us can count so sometimes, I don’t blame her. Either of us are unwilling to work on the relationship and honestly, that’s okay. Trying to become close will feel weird. We’ve never hugged each other except the day I was called to bar. I could feel all the love in that one hug that lasted for all of 3 minutes. We’re not expressive towards each other (but she’s so damn expressive with my siblings) and I don’t mind. It’s the little things she does (and I know she can never do for my siblings) that tells me if she had a choice, she’d give up everything all over again just for me. If that isn’t love, I don’t know what that is. Funny part, she’s the only one I can give my life up for.

    • Boki March 18, 2016 at 8:22 am Reply

      You know you are loved. That’s basically the bottom line here. I’m so happy this spoke to you.
      Thank you sooooo much for sharing.God bless you nne ? ? ? ?

  8. Tega March 17, 2016 at 4:08 pm Reply

    I can totally relate to this.
    Its a constant struggle to make my mum accept my individuality & differing views ( she actually thinks I am just a few steps shy of being stark raving mad & has on more than one occasion called me to a corner to ask me if I do drugs????).
    Do I doubt her love for me, not at all, do I respect her, absolutely!!!
    Overtime I have come to understand & accept that she is just that way & I am another way (which doesn’t make any of us flawed) & we get along as best as we can….
    Thanks for sharing this mami.

    • Boki March 18, 2016 at 8:16 am Reply

      I had to laugh!! I had the “are you on drugs?”conversation about 20yrs ago so I can definitely relate.
      Thank you sooooo much for sharing. God bless you.
      Mwwwaaahhh ????

  9. Cheechy March 17, 2016 at 10:45 pm Reply

    So easy to see how many people relate to your story. I commend your honesty. Growing up, I found it extremely difficult relating with my mom, as well. This was conveniently because of the special bond I shared with my dad. She assumed I was over-indulged and might end up a mess but I also found out we were hardly on the same page because I was pretty much like her in more ways than one and she clearly couldn’t stand my energy/guts (her default way of keeping me in check was by being mean) but you won’t believe the bond we share at the moment. No, this didn’t happen overnight. We sat and talked like grown women. Haha??. In speaking to her, I was honest about my feelings/frustrations and disgust. She wept. Though, I secretly believe, God kinda arrested her. Cos that moment was our make or break up point. All I am saying is, sometimes, we need to have that conversation. It helps a great deal. You may never be sure of her reasons till you talk. You could find clarity. Good luck with whatever decision. Rib-cracking hugs.

    • Boki March 18, 2016 at 8:47 am Reply

      See ehhhhhn, my fear is that talking might make matters worse. Maybe I should leave things as they are…
      It’s very confusing, God knows.
      Thank you sooooo much for sharing. God bless you darling ????

  10. Joie March 18, 2016 at 3:25 am Reply

    Thank you for this post. Thank you so much. Sometimes you feel like you are the only one going through some really strange situation and it chips very seriously at your worth as a person.

    My relationship with my mum is similar to yours and others here apparently. Infact I was up this night because I have not been speaking to her and I have to find a way to do so to find out when my daughter resumes school and when the deadline for the next fees are. I hate that I am so economically incapacitated that I have to leave my child in her care and endure what I think are snide comments about my ‘failure to launch’. Then on the other hand I feel like she is right and I am a useless child and an an ungrateful ass because considering the circumstances I should accept anything from her right? And so on.

    So thank you again, for showing that I do not battle alone. I just hope that I can get myself together in time to circumvent this battle with my own daughter.

    • Mimi March 18, 2016 at 8:38 am Reply

      I’ve known mothers like you and honestly I say to you that God will never give you anything you cannot handle. It maybe so now but it gets better.

      I have to say, I respect you for even having the courage to bring her into this world and for that blessings will come your way immensely. The only thing keeping you from your blessings is time.

      I have friends who were in your position, they now have their own homes with their husbands that treat them better than queens and they eventually became financially comfortable- entrepreneurs and working class. All this is temporary. Trust the process, know the process, initiate the process and love the process- it will make who you and your daughter are.

      Remember all is just time. I am praying for you even though I don’t know you.

      • Joie March 18, 2016 at 11:06 am Reply

        God bless you, Mimi. God bless you real good. Your comment made me well up. And Amen. From your lips to God’s ears. May all our dreams come true.

    • Boki March 18, 2016 at 8:53 am Reply

      You have no idea how happy your comment made me. Not because of the troubled relationship you have with your mum…of course not.
      You articulated my fears as well. I’m so worried about the relationship I’ll have with a daughter that I don’t even have yet bikonu!!
      See ehhhhhn, right now you almost have no choice because she’s helping you care for your child but don’t let that bring you down. God willing, it will only be temporary. Just hang in there. I am especially grateful to you for sharing. God bless you nne ? ? ? ?

      • Joie March 18, 2016 at 11:08 am Reply

        You are very welcome, Boki. Thank YOU for opening this discussion.


        I prefer when you write; nothing is lost in translation. Not that I mind seeing your beautiful face o 😉

        • Boki March 20, 2016 at 11:14 pm Reply

          I get that a lot.
          I’m working on writing more. If I’m honest it’s laziness and a bit of fear because when I write, I pour out more. Videos are either me playing around or ranting about something but when I write I feel a tad more exposed.. *am I even making sense?*

  11. ekama March 18, 2016 at 6:20 am Reply

    Well,i can’t really relate. My mum left when I was barely two. Prior to that she wasn’t taking care of me….her reason being that she was too young,wasn’t ready for a child and my father who was fresh out of the university when he met her hadn’t performed the magic to acquire so much. So when she couldn’t stand us anymore,she left! But before she did,my aunt had been my mother,and like mother and child we have our difference. I say major kasala ohhh,when matter set for us here ehhhh? Nobody go believe say na us wey been d do mushy mushy before be this. I know she loves me like crazy,nobody even understands why,cause i’m overly troublesome and dramatic.

    • Boki March 18, 2016 at 8:09 am Reply

      Your story made me laugh and tear up a bit as well *yeah, I’m a mushy cow* Your aunt is your mum. Full stop. Parenting isn’t just about biology and from what I read and see, she did a good job.
      Thank you sooooo much for sharing, God bless you nne
      Mwwwaaahhh ????

  12. Mimi March 18, 2016 at 8:50 am Reply

    Yish! Boki, I HATED my mum growing up. I wasn’t even blessed like you to be loved like how your father loved you. I have an elder sister so she was first with the love from Popsie and elder brother first with love from Momsie lol so my chances were hard. But Popsie showed more love that when he died I asked God why he didn’t take my mum instead (it was THAT bad).

    I just became the angriest child with the worse temper. I felt neglected. But I think growing up I understood my mum after my dad died especially when I found out truths about my dad, going to jand and inevitably fending for myself; I understood her and worse realised… I was her. We have the same mannerisms, both jovial etc. We’re the same and for a lot of people they hate realising they are the parent they have issues with.

    One day I called my mum, told her that I understand her, I am thankful for all she did and all she gave up for us. From then on she dropped her guard and now I can’t fathom life without my mum. She isn’t a fussy person lol not emotional at all just blindly supports whatever I do. I’m the Captian now!

    I pray that peace inevitably comes. It was something I waited a long time for and it came.

    • Boki March 18, 2016 at 9:58 am Reply

      Mimi, I can’t see you hating anyone. You are such a sweet and happy soul. Your story gives me hope sha..sooner than later I hope.
      Thank you sooooo much for sharing.God bless you baby girl ????

  13. Kemi March 18, 2016 at 10:44 am Reply

    Hmmm…. I can’t say I can relate cos I have a pretty cool relationship with my mom. But, hey we’ve had our differenceso bigtime.
    However, I am sure my kidsis can relate…LOL. They are always at it, I even get tired of being the referee .
    That said, I think you should talk to her, have that conversation with her. Have it at the back of your mind , whatever she’s doing is totally out of love. Her own way of showing you love and grooming you to be a better person.

    • Boki March 20, 2016 at 11:11 pm Reply

      We’ll see how it goes. I honestly don’t know if I’m up for it.
      I should probably just let things be.
      Thanks for sharing hon

  14. Iman March 20, 2016 at 8:57 pm Reply

    I must say I concur, I have a very terrible relationship with my mum. Although people close to her say it’s too much love having me after 11 years of marriage without any child. Not even a miscarriage. Sometimes I just think…is this woman always angry with me? Don’t get me wrong , I don’t think I’m a bad child , Im not wayward at all. This situation got worse and worse over the years now I’m 20 and it’s not any better. The last time I saw my mum before I travelled she slapped me Infront of my fiance , dad and uncle just because she thought I spoke to her in a certain way. Lol!!! Mine is a bit above the border though. But I pray we have a better relationship soon. Mostly I pray for marriage, that’s the only thing that will give us the space and more love.

    • Boki March 20, 2016 at 11:22 pm Reply

      Ok, don’t be mad at me but I’ll tell you that marriage isn’t the escape you hope it will be. No, I’m not married but I’m almost 41 so I know tons and tons of married folks who talk to me about their struggles.
      You are only 20, there’s a LOT of time to settle down so don’t hurry it just because you want your mum to leave you alone.
      I know it will be difficult to actually have a sit down adult to adult conversation especially as she still sees you as a child *as slapping you in front of people clearly shows* so maybe you can get an older relative to mediate on your behalf.
      Good luck dear and thank you sooooo much for sharing. God bless you ? ? ? ?

  15. Ade March 21, 2016 at 12:20 pm Reply

    It’s funny how I have always been considered to be my father’s daughter (omo baba e as the Yoruba’s would say), but I went everywhere with my mother growing up and would not let anyone but her carry me. Now, we have the worst relationship! Ever! The irony is I am not close to my father either. I am just that child drifting away. What gets on my mother’s nerves the most is that I have my father’s temperament, which my mother hates. At the same time, I share in my father’s frustrations with my mother. I wonder how over the years she has not learnt how to deal with either of us. She wants us to respond in a particular way instead of approaching us as we are. For instance, my mother is a talker. Neither my father and I are. She wants to talk our ears off, but we get irritated and she gets upset that we don’t talk. It’s not deliberate, but talking is not our pastime, but when we want to talk, we TALK!

    I don’t think my mother and I will ever have a healthy relationship especially if the one between her and my father remains the way it is. I feel sorry for her some times having to deal with both of us. As for my father and I, we might as well be colleagues.

    • Boki March 24, 2016 at 5:04 am Reply

      It’s funny how you can live with people for so long and still not “know” them.
      In my family dynamic, I’m the talker, the emotional one who wants to talk stuff out and get it all out in the open but because my mum and brothers aren’t, I come across as overly emotional and dramatic.
      Thank you for sharing dear, God bless you ? ? ?

  16. Dame March 21, 2016 at 12:48 pm Reply

    I have a virtually nonexistent relationship with my mom. I used to think she was too judgmental and difficult to please. I probably still think so… But, the relationship hasn’t improved and in a weird way, I don’t feel bad. Sometimes, I beat myself up for not doing all I can to make it better… This is why I rarely mention her. But, I’m trying to make sure my daughter has a great relationship with her; afterall, if she can’t get that ‘Chummy-Mum’ feel with me, she can get it with her grandchild.
    C’est la vie!

    • Boki March 22, 2016 at 8:16 pm Reply

      Abi? At least she can play “bestie mummy” with Pompom. Toh!!
      C’est la vie indeed.
      Thank you sooooo much for sharing nne. God bless you

  17. Demi March 23, 2016 at 12:36 pm Reply

    I think it gets better with the years. Growing up I would do something wrong my dad would let is slide but my mom……the beating ehn(first born and only gal). Stuff happened btw the folks and they parted ways which had an effect on all relationships. Pres

  18. Demi March 23, 2016 at 12:42 pm Reply

    Continuation: present day my mum is so there for me and my family but she makes some funny comments sometimes like I don’t love her , that my kids are the ones that will take care of her in old age etc. I don’t let it upset cos I understand now that we just have different temperaments which gets in d way of us understanding each other. I’m not an expressive person while my mom can be dramatic. To end this I think it gets better with the passage of time

    • Boki March 24, 2016 at 5:09 am Reply

      I really hope so but both of us aren’t getting any younger and until some Knight in shining armor comes and whisks me away, I’m sure she will still find me quite the disappointment as a daughter and since I absolutely refuse to get married just for marrying sake, we might be at this stalemate for a long time.
      Thanks for sharing dear, God bless you

  19. Miss Cee March 28, 2016 at 6:06 am Reply

    Mine’s the opposite. My dad and I could never see eye to eye. Unfortunately he died without us ever getting to fix things. And all I have now is regret especially after finding out how much he loved me and how frustrated he was about our non-existent relationship. I guess what I’m trying to say is, you never know what’ll happen the next minute, you have the opportunity to improve your relationship with your mom now. Use it. Yeah, it’s a gamble. But wouldn’t you rather know that your tried than not at all? You’d be surprised what your mom has been going through as well because of your relationship with her. Bisous!

  20. Labake April 4, 2016 at 2:24 pm Reply

    My relationship with my mother is just as you’ve described. And I’m somewhat relieved I’m not the only who has this type of relationship with their mother because i used to feel weird hearing friends say they gisted with their mothers.
    Asides morning greetings,we have said practically nothing to each other in the last couple of days with her vowing not to interfere in my life ever again. We can be occasional best friends but when we get it at,nothing or no one can settle it.
    When I also saw the Chigul video,it got me thinking of how my mum never has my side whenever i have a misunderstanding with someone and automatically conclude I’m at fault and it made me cry. I wouldn’t necessarily defend her to her face but I’m a voltron for her in her absence.
    My mum and I hated each other so much when I was much younger,like you I was a daddy’s girl and her smacking me was one of the reasons that led to her separation from my dad. Having a civil conversation with my mom most of the times can be very very difficult and results in an argument (even when it’s on issues that do not concern us at all)and we end up not resolving anything. I think we’re just wired differently because we’ve always had a strained relationship for as long as I can remember (read nursery school)
    I try not to compare her to my dad who listens to every single thing you have to say,even when you yourself know you’re chatting crap and then tells you what he thinks and why,leaving you to then make the decision you think is best. Every time I try talking to her about our relationship or how and why views differ from hers, she asks me to “forget it” meaning *case closed*
    I am so ready for that conversation,but I don’t think she is or even sees a need for it. Trying to talk to her just make things worse than they already are. And I really don’t understand why that is,she says she had the same type of relationship with her own mum and I’d expect her to make conscious efforts not to have the same with her daughter. And to be honest,I don’t think we can have the type of relationship i want with her until we sit down and have a heart to heart because I for one have a whole lot to say to her as regards how she treated me after the separation. And the things I want to say to her are not things I’d want to just blurt out in anger if I don’t want to cause irreparable damage. I’ve talked to her sisters,my siblings and even my dad about our relationship in the hope that talking to people close to her is going to make me feel better or forget but it does nothing and I know for sure she’s the one I need to talk to.
    I know she loves me more than she loves my siblings but i just think seeing eye to eye is not for us just yet and I hope it changes.

    • Boki April 5, 2016 at 8:08 pm Reply

      First of all, thank you sooooo much for sharing so much. God bless you.? ? ?
      My darling, it’s so hard to make sense of these dysfunctional relationships we have with our mothers. Sometimes I wonder if it’s even worth trying to fix but you now remember how fragile this life is and how it makes sense to mend fences before it’s too late.
      God dey sha.

  21. Tee April 9, 2016 at 7:26 pm Reply

    My heart skipped several beats reading this beacusenincould relate to almost every letter. Ive always felt like this but never vocalised it. Its almost theraputic to read my words.from.someone elses mouth. It think a lot about it and my conclusion is shes able to get along with my brothers better because she doesnt neeed to see herself in them. However she needs to see herself in me and honestly i in her too. But its hard when we’ve had so many differrnt experiences growing up. My sexuality is differnt. My interst are differnt. My choice in a man is differnt. My opinions and out look on life are differnt. And somewhere this creates a resentment. As a mother myself i now know that its important to put all of those differnces aside and just love each other. Im doing this in hopes that if in ever a mother to a girl.. my greatest fear… that ill be able to have a good relatuonship with her.

    I wish things were differnt but.i dont think ill ever be able to please her with who i am.. just as she hasnt pleased me much with how she raised me. But the irony is that im who i am because of hiw she raised me. With maturity comes a ot of appreciation for who she is.. and that eases away some of thos unhealthy contempt i have for her. Its a daily struggle but im making a consious evry day to learn to love her for whoshe is in the hope.that she loves me for who i am… thay weird point in my life where i think i can teach my mother soemthing. Lol.

    Excuse the typos. My fat fingers wont let me be great lolol.

    My weight.. another thing she doesnt let me forget..

    Feels nice to offload this somewhere wether it makes sense or not is another issue. Lol

    From a fan who creepd you on instagram lol ❤

    • Boki April 10, 2016 at 10:19 am Reply

      Thank you sooooo much for sharing. This is exactly why I chose to start a blog. If just ONE person can relate with what I’m talking about, I’d have done well.
      God bless you ? ? ? ?

  22. Krystal April 14, 2016 at 11:02 am Reply

    Hmmmmmm, this post! It’s not a coincidence that this post was written a day after my mum passed, I have always felt the same about my mum until last year when she fell ill and I had to nurse her which gave us time to bond and create that relationship and friendship I had always yearned for, just when I got what I had always wanted with and was beginning to enjoy it the cold hands of death snatched her from me, like that wasn’t bad enough she passed two weeks to my wedding. My dear I bet it’s best to enjoy our mothers while we still have them. I will give the world to have her back with me

  23. Towmeey September 7, 2016 at 12:06 am Reply

    I can totally relate to this.
    I’ve come to your blog to read this story over and over but I just have issues with commenting (which in trying to fix)..
    My mum did the exact thing; sending the cooks and all that away and making me wake up at 6am everyday to cook, clean and what not! I was so furious! I reported her to her own mother. I felt like she hated me and just didn’t want me to flourish as a human being. And when I was much younger I honestly thought she hated me but I guess that was her own way of instilling “home training” in me or whatever.
    To be fair, the whole sending all the cooks and all that away has really helped me! Especially since last year (I’ve had to move away and I live on my own now). Because of that, I’m able to take care of my own shit and feed myself and etc, meanwhile prior to that her stunt I didn’t even know I had any culinary skills.
    But our relationship is really good now (maybe because I’m much older) she has just become like a friend/sister.

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